Marital and Partner-Based Assessment and Counseling

Marital/Partner Assessment

Couple meets with the therapist for approximately an hour and a half

  • Each partner speaks his or her concerns
  • The therapist directs the discussion towards attending to these concerns
  • Couple jointly decide as to whether to proceed with the assessment

Each partner meets with the therapist individually

  • This occurs on different days
  • This is a time for private presentation of concerns
  • A thorough personal history is gathered from each partner
  • A clinical assessment is made by the therapist of each partner

Partners are given a battery of psychological tests and inventories

  • These are usually taken home to complete and returned to the office

Partners and therapist meet for an interpretation of the marriage

  • Focus is primarily on similarities and differences between the partners
  • Identification of difficulties in communication are addressed
  • Identifiable mental health issues are identified
  • Therapist makes recommendations for treatment or referral
  • Therapist may recommend marital/couple therapy
  • Occasionally therapist recommends individual therapy
  • Occasionally therapist refers couple to another therapist
  • Occasionally it appears that no further treatment is necessary

Marriage/Partner Counseling

Much of the marital counseling is based upon the findings of the marital assessment, such as:

  • Personality similarities
  • Personality differences
  • Identifiable personal difficulties
  • Development of individual strengths
  • Understanding of individual limitations

Communication is developed and augmented

  • Much of this has to do with the partners understanding their different communication styles
  • Learning to effectively express oneself is hard
  • Learning to listen is even harder
  • The therapist is very active in this process

Recommendations rendered by the therapist

Directions to each partner for “homework”

  • Things to say or not to say
  • Finding time alone
  • Developing work, play, and home management

Directions for other relationships

  • They may help the marital relationship
  • They may harm the marital relationship

Contact with other individuals

  • It may necessary to contact other professionals involved with the partners, such as therapists or doctors
  • It can be helpful to meet with family or friends who have impacts on the couple


What areas are examined in marital/partner counseling?

  • Much examination is made of differences in personality structure
  • Differences in personality often leads to differences in values
  • Dealing with children, stepchildren, adult children, and former spouses
  • Sexual matters
  • Recreation and external social contact
  • Use or abuse of alcohol
  • Financial concerns
  • Resolution of childhood traumas within the context of the marriage

What if one partner does not want to come to counseling?

  • This is very common and can be dealt with effectively
  • It is helpful to discuss with the partner that marriage counseling is begun only after a marital assessment is accomplished.  Many reluctant partners are willing to go through this assessment more than attempt counseling
  • It may be helpful for the reluctant partner to view this website to see our orientation to psychology
  • We recommend against an individual coming in for counseling that is primarily related to marital dissatisfaction unless the individual is prepared for the possibility of ending the relationship.

How effective is marital/partner counseling?

  • Often, marital counseling is not very effective.  Statistics shows that people who seek marital counseling usually end up divorcing
  • Marital counseling can deteriorate into criticism of one’s partner, which is never productive
  • Understanding the challenges of marital counseling, we always require a thorough marital assessment at the beginning of the process

Do we have to be married to do marital counseling?

There are many partnerships and relationships that can be effectively treated

We often refer to “relationship counseling” rather than marital counseling

Some people seek our services while considering marriage or a long-term commitment to one another to assess compatibility

We occasionally deal with couples who were formerly married or partnered

  • Dealing with children
  • Dealing with finances
  • Dealing with new partners
  • Resolving old resentments